It has been a week and a half with my little bambinos and I AM IN LOVE. I call this post partum obsession. Looking back at my previous blogs of me during my pregnancy, doing all of this research on the best product , baby stuff for the twins , how to pack the hospital bag, etc .. just makes me laugh now. I thought I was ready. HECK! I thought all of the time I had home due to Covid to read and all of the classes I took, I thought I was going to be ahead of the game. There is so much more to children when you become a mother , that no one ever told me. I prepped and prepped and yet I was not prepared.
I knew about the umbilical cord that would be connected to my child’s belly button for up to the first two weeks of my children’s life. No one ever told me I was going to change their diapers as slow as molasses to avoid knocking in to that wild thing. I would fold the diaper so far down that my kiddos would basically pee through the top and only used the cut off onsies to avoid any rubbing on that area. Whatever it was that I was doing, got that cord to dry up real quick and within a week it fell off! Anthony’s fell off on Wednesday and Nicholas followed the next morning. Not one person told me I was going to be so proud of my kids for this dried up cranberry thing to fall off of them, and that I was going to put it aside to save! I do not know what we will do with this in the future but bet your ass I will have it.
They did not tell me about how delicate this circumcision would be, times two! These poor little mini hot dogs looked so hopeless and raw. When the scar tissue started to heal, it then took on an even crazier look. They did tell me to put a ton of Vaseline in the front part of the diaper that lies on the little pee pee to help with the healing. Even still, they did not tell me how gentle I was going to be to avoid any pain for my kids that by the time I put the vaseline and the diaper on, the kid already peed all over me. We are healed now, and we can get a diaper on extremely fast to avoid the sprinklers.
Everyone told me how beneficial breast milk would be for my children .. but they did not tell me that when the milk comes in , it comes in hot! I did not know that if I pumped at two o’clock, that my boobs would look and feel like boulders again by four. They also did not tell me that along side burning so many calories pumping/feeding, you were going to feel like you were starving, even more than when you were pregnant. When it comes to latching, you all failed to mention, how proud you are of your babies and of yourself for getting it right. I had no idea that once my babies started sucking, all I was going to want to do was jump up and down and yet I sat there frozen trying not to breathe so that they did not fall off of my nipple.
I knew I loved our family and friends, but I did not know, how much I was going to love watching them love my children. The look in their eyes when they look at my children lights me up inside as a mother. There is nothing more you want for your children other than endless love, and to have so many people around to help add to what you give them as a parent … no one told me how special that was going to feel.
Lastly, you all failed to mention how fulfilling the mom title would be. Two and a half weeks ago, I was pregnant, entering the hospital, knowing that I was not going to be leaving without my two kids. I left the hospital with so much more. I had a new found confidence and purpose in life. I had meaning and I had strength. I had my pride (Nicholas) and my joy (Anthony). I was able to give my husband the gift of two children. Most importantly, my heart grew so much bigger in size to fit these two boys, and I am the happiest I have ever been in my life.