14 weeks , 98 days , 2352 hours

I am not going to sit here and tell you that the second I found out we were having twins that my first trimester was a fairytale pregnancy. Don’t get me wrong , since day one I was always excited about bringing not one but two babies in to this world. The problem was , it is 2020 and the world got a little turned upside down. Let’s start with the first two months when things were still “normal”. I spent the first 2 months sick as a dog and highly emotional. I was repulsed by everything but always wanted to eat, and the hormones … I won’t go in too much detail , but my husband will be scarred for life. He just now got over the fact that if he makes eye contact , its okay , the devil isn’t looking back. On top of feeling like I am having an out of body experience, I fell in to the dark hole of google. Every day I would type in to google search ” What can go wrong with my twin pregnancy?” Ladies , just don’t do it. It only added anxiety on top of everything else. What I should have done is read my favorite twin books before the internet and I would have felt so much more confident. So here I am with sickness, anxiety, hormones, and now corona hits – depression. The news was scary , the sirens 24/7 , trying to calm loved ones down when internally I was an emotional wreck , and the stay inside order. I couldn’t grasp it.. What do you mean I can’t share my pregnancy with the world and go to my favorite restaurants to pig out? This wasn’t going the way I have dreamed for years. To all the mothers pregnant during corona , I feel you , the sadness , the disappointment , but most of all the fear. What I have come to terms with is, it was gods way of protecting us. I would have been on my feet 10 hours day as a hairdresser not giving my body the rest and nutrients its needed. Every time I felt upset going to the doctor without my husband, I felt it was my time with my children I will never get back. There is a light to every situation, I made sure I found mine before things got ugly. I took a zoom class with Twinversity and Carriage House Birth, which was able to give me knowledge, while getting my husband involved. (Two classes that come highly recommended) I also read three books that steered me away from the news and google that I also strongly suggest !

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